did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
His nipple licking is glorious
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