I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
