I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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