Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize