I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
