I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
