I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
