Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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