Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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