Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
