a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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