hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize