i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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