a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize