trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize