So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
