this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
