3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
