im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize