people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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