why didn't you poke me back
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
