Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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