If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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