Just fell off a train. Bad.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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