so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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