yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
