apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
