you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
