this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
