A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize