Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
