Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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