He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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