You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
