Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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