it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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