as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
