Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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