i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
