i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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