Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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