Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize