drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize