I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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