I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We don't watch enough power rangers
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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