I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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