i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
