Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
