I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
