I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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