so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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