so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
