Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
