its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
