cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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