i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize