I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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