Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
