i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He passed out mid-signature
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
