I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize