I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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