I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
