ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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