Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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