About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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