found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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