Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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