Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
