Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize