A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
