i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
