My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
