Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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