I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
