We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
