Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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