Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
smell my finger.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
